My Girl
by Lyn Harkeran
Summary: He came to kill her. She wondered where he'd been all her life. Together they meant something more. Cain/OC slight romance, angst, and AU.


**My Girl**

* * *

Someone was _watching_ me.

A sickening feeling of dread rose from the pits of my stomach to clench my heart and lungs. I'd experienced this feeling before, more times than I could count. . . but somehow this time was different. There was no disgust, no shame, no _regret_, and I was grateful for the reprieve. Being scared was one thing, but revulsion was something else entirely.

I waited several seconds for the feeling to go away. My bedroom was moderately sized, but now it might as well have been a mausoleum for how forlorn it was. My lamp light flickered and went dark, as I closed my eyes and listened for any sound. My heart thundered deafeningly in my ears, and I soon gave up. Though even in the darkest of darks, I knew someone was still there, watching, _waiting. . . _

My bedroom window was open a crack, letting in the midnight autumn breeze waft in. It blew across my clammy face, as I fixed my extra-large t-shirt to cover myself. Modesty was a virtue I cherished, but it wasn't thoughts of propriety that made me pull the hemline down over my knees, or scrunch up against the wall. . . It was _memory. Instinct _alone that made me react in such a way.

After a moment more, my lamp light flickered back to life. I could see the brightness just beyond my clamped eyelids, but still I kept them shut. Fighting to control my breathing, I continued to try and pull the shirt hemline lower. It was a baggy shirt, but even the large size couldn't offer the coverage I desperately wanted. But when I'd gone to sleep, I hadn't considered anything other than comfort.

Once again, I felt the eyes on me. . . And my fear cracked, giving way to a wild second of bravery.

"W-Who are you? What do you want?" I whispered, trying my best not to stutter.

I was met by silence for sometime before the 'someone' answered. "Open your eyes, woman. Keeping them closed will not save you from the inevitable. Only prolong it." The voice was deep and smooth and held a quality I had never heard before… An ancient knowledge. . . an eternal sorrow and calmness that made my heart ache as I listened to it. The voice itself was not familiar to me, but the undercurrent of the tone I would have recognized anywhere. . . The despair. . . the _acceptance. _ I knew it all too well.

Slowly I allowed my eyelids to lift and blinked harshly in the lamplight. I stared down at the colorful afghan on my bed, focusing on the crocheted yellows and grays before I finally looked up.

Only a step or so away from my bed, stood a man I'd never seen before, with long graying hair and eyes as blue as a summer sky. He was casually dressed- his posture as straight as an arrow. His gaze was direct, _intense_, making me gasp and quickly avert my own. I looked at my blankets again, knowing full well he was still staring at me.

"_Who_ are you?" I asked again, no more than a whisper against the stillness of the room.

"I've gone by many names in this life," he said firmly, seeming used to the question, as if he'd heard it a thousand times over. "The Father of Murder is one of them."

My eyes shot up to look at the stranger again, my mouth going dry as his words settled on my wearied mind. … Father of Murder? Did he mean that in a biblical sense? . . . As in. . .

"_**Cain."**_

I didn't realize I'd said it aloud until he acknowledged it with a curt nod. "Well read, girl. It seems you were able to answer your own question."

I felt my heart rise into my throat as a silent scream, but the look he gave me stopped the sound cold.

"Scream if it makes you feel better. But it won't stop me. This meeting was predestined, as will be the rest."

"...Y-You... You're here to kill me, aren't you?"

"Yes." He stood as tall and firm as a statue, his face expressionless. "You carry my disease, sweet child. The _curse _of my bloodline. The legacy of murderers, degenerates; those dark souls who never stood a chance. I've come to wipe the world clean."

I was silent for several moments, before I felt the red hot splashes of salt against my cheeks. The tears came without warning, as did the indescribable fury. I could see he expected my tears, but as I began to laugh, I noticed a flicker of concern cross those striking blue eyes. My laughter grew almost violent, as I leaned my head all the way back against the wall, and let the peals of maniacal giggles take over. My body convulsed with them, before they turned into gut wrenching, terrible cries.

"Where _were_ you?" My voice cracked with pure emotion as I broke down completely. "_Where._ _Were_. _You_. For all those _years?_ When I _prayed_ for an end? I would have _paid _someone to do it! I would have given _anything_ to be set free! And all the while the world brought me back from the ledge and shoved pills and therapy down my throat! My loved ones lost _all_ faith in me and the world labeled me suicidal and crazy! Where in the _hell_ were _you?!" _

I wept through the cracks in my fingers, as I covered my leaking eyes with shaky hands. My vision was too blurry to see anything anymore, as I cried and ranted. But I didn't care. I _couldn't _care anymore. . .

"Where were you when I needed all the memories and abuse to disappear?" I finished, finally lowering my hands from my face to look at him again. "Cain. . . I've wanted your gift since I could remember or hope for anything." I paused, pleading with my red-rimmed, chocolate eyes. "...Why on earth did you wait so long?"

Through the haze of my teary gaze, I could see him show the first signs of emotion. Though I didn't expect him to move, and when he did so, I gasped. He strode closer, so that his knees almost touched the edge of the mattress. Slowly he reached out with a large, calloused hand, lifting my chin up so that I was forced to look him in the eye. As sky blue met drowned chocolate, his expression changed into one of remorse, surprising me.

"Poor child. You've wanted my gift for that long?" His voice was gentle, as his fingers cupped my cheek. I would have cringed away, if I hadn't been so caught up in the moment. But somehow I held still and met his gaze. When I nodded, his brow drew up. "What made you wish for death so wantonly, my girl?"

His voice was so tender and sincere that I couldn't stop my nose from scrunching up. Damn my heart, and damn my head. More tears fell, this time rolling down the plains of his hand to the beginning of his wrist. He didn't seem to mind it, as his grip didn't retract from my cheek. He held me firmly, wanting an answer. But how could I tell him? . . . How could I tell _anyone_ after so many years of silence?

"You're trembling like a leaf." He watched me intently, and I immediately wished to look away, but he held me in place. "Are you afraid of me?"

"No." I answered without hesitation.

The sky blue eyes pulled me in, deeper this time, and I was sure he knew _everything_. That he could read my thoughts and all my past, as if it were written on my forehead in a scarlet trail of blood.

"No, you aren't afraid of me," he agreed thoughtfully. "Because you fear something or _someone_ else even more."

I shuddered, and it was answer enough.

"What happened to you, child, that could make you hate life so adamantly?"

I tried to speak, but immediately images and old memories began to flood my mind and I grew mute.

* * *

_**Hands. . . . Darker than coal, darker than pitch. . . Hands grabbing and pulling, caressing and groping me. Then they push me back into boiling hot water, as I scream and flail, fearing I'll drown. The water burns as smoke rises from the tub and I thrash. I don't want to die! Please don't let me die! . . . . Please don't let me **__**live**__**!**_

_**But then I'm pulled back, water dripping from my hair and lashes as I'm thrown to the cold bathroom floor. **_

_**Sickly sweet words coil around me like a snake. "Don't tell anyone. It'll be our little secret, because I love you. Because I chose **__**you**__**. My little whore. . . My little secret." **_

_**Hands fix my dress to hide all evidence of the truth. **_

_**Hands making sure I'll remain quiet. . .**_

* * *

The urge to vomit choked me, and I grasped Cain's forearm with the momentum of the flash backs. My grip grew incredibly hard against his tanned skin, but he didn't pull away. Instead he brought his other hand around to the back of my skull, cradling me and pulling me close. With a single motion, my face was cushioned in the crook of his neck, as I sobbed garbled words of explanation. They weren't intelligible, but somehow I knew he understood. The darkness, the pain, he _felt_ it all.

"You were hurt by someone close to you... someone who was meant to keep you safe." He murmured into my hair, and I cried harder, shaking as if I'd fall apart. "You were betrayed by one who was meant to protect you from this world."

"M-My . . . M-M-My-" I fought to say the word, but couldn't as I gripped the collar of his coat and tried to breathe past all of the horror and shame.

When I quieted, save for the sound of my fluttering cries, he said it for me. "Your _father._"

For years the word had been a silent cry of hate and self loathing on my tongue. But as he said it, I felt as if a weight had been lifted. For the shame was no longer a _secret. . . I _was no longer a _secret. _

"_Yes_."

The admittance was absolute as I hugged him. The pain and grief and unimaginable relief was more than I could fathom, and I slumped against Cain. He caught me with relative ease, before embracing me. His hand held the back of my head, while his arm encased the rest of me.

For an eternity, I rested in the crook of his neck, crying. And I realized just how _clean_ he smelled. Like honey and soap; unlike anything I would have imagined. But somehow perfect for the man, in all his rugged calmness and amity.

"This world has failed you," he said after sometime. "My curse. . . my _disease_ made it possible."

"You might have brought darkness into the world, but you didn't _create _it." I breathed, as my tears finally subsided into ragged breaths.

He looked down at me with ancient sorrow. "I might as well have. My path begot a million others. And it will do so until the end of time."

"So why try to kill me and all those other dark souls?" The question was unbidden, but I wanted to know. I _wanted_ to understand. After he'd set me free from my silence, it was the least I could do.

Cain sighed heavily, as he let me go and took several steps away. His boot-clad feet were barely perceptible on my carpeted floor.

"It is the only way I know to set you all free."

"Set us free? From this darkness?"

He gave a sage nod. "I have tried walking a path of peace, of leaving you all be. . . But I cannot fix it, and I cannot save you. I can only stop it before it grows into something worse."

I did not agree with his logic, but I could not bring myself to say so. Not when he offered something I'd craved for so long. Wiping the corners of my eyes with my shirt sleeve, I spoke again.

"I wish you'd found me sooner."

"As do I, my girl… Perhaps I could have spared you the torment and heartache."

"Perhaps." I smiled at him wistfully. "But you're here _now_."

"Yes. I'm here now."

He returned my smile, and it touched his eyes, lighting them up in shades of affection. I didn't know what I'd done to deserve such a thing, but the thought warmed me.

If I awoke tomorrow and found this all to be a dream, I would never know what I had done to think up such a man. . . Though somehow I suspected it could never be a dream. He was too in depth for the workings of my addled mind.

"Will it hurt?" I wondered reaching down to pull my baggy shirt back over my knees.

"No. Not for you." The respect was evident in his tone, making my heart clench. "It will be quick. I won't make you suffer."

"Thank you." My gratitude was sincere, as I nodded at him to begin.

My face flushed as he took my hand into his own larger one. He pulled me up lightly, gesturing for me to stand. My legs wobbled, but with his help I managed to rise to my feet before him. He didn't let go of my hand, as he pulled me closer. And I noticed how gentle his features actually were. He was handsome, even with the palpable darkness that shrouded him. And a new thought occurred to me. . .

"Before you kill me, may I make one request?" When he raised a questioning brow, I shook my head, anticipating his line of thought. "I'm not going to ask you to let me go. I know you won't, and I don't want to escape. . ."

"What is your request?" His voice was soft, eyes gauging my expression for any hints. And I feared I was an open book.

"I've never been able to be with anyone because of what… _happened _to me." I explained, knowing my face was coloring again. "I tried to date but I just couldn't bring myself to go anywhere with it. . ."

"What are you asking me?"

"Would you be willing to. . . ? To-?"

"Yes?" His interest was peaked as he prompted me.

"Will you . . . _kiss me_?" The words were frightening on my tongue, but somehow I managed to spit them out. "I know it's a strange thing to ask. . . But I've never been kissed . . . And… I don't want to die before-"

Cain's forefinger pressed against my lips, stopping my rambling. As I fell silent he lowered his finger and nodded. "If that is what you want. Close your eyes."

I carefully shut my eyes and waited. Apprehension filled my stomach and I feared I'd be sick, but just as I was about to open my eyes again and rethink my request, he grabbed my chin with a tender hand. Though this time he didn't cup my face. Instead, he brought it to his own, and let his lips capture mine.

I gasped at the suddenness of the contact and stiffened. At my obvious shock he immediately pulled away, and I opened my eyes to see him staring at me. His concern was obvious. He didn't want to scare me, or force it. The sentiment made me smile apologetically.

"Will you try again? Please?"

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

As he asked the question, I found my bravery and leaned forward. Though I ultimately waited for _him_ to close the space. I felt completely out of my league, but knew it was what I wanted.

Once again, he took my chin between his thumb and forefinger and kissed me. This time my eyes stayed open.

His lips were firm and warm against mine, and as he angled his head to deepen it, I felt my heart flip and then skip altogether. My nose brushed against his, as I kissed him back and felt his hand bury in my wavy curls. Tingles ran down my spine as his fingertips brushed against my scalp. The experience was so different from anything I'd ever felt, and I was content at the thought that it would be my first and last.

For a time we remained this way, until I pulled back to look up at him. Our faces were mere inches apart as I whispered, "I'm ready."

The sky blue eyes grew solemn, as he pulled me into a final hug. Time stood still as wordless goodbyes passed between us.

As I rested my head against his chest, I felt the blade of a knife slip past my ribs and puncture my heart. I sputtered as I clutched Cain and the world spun. And even as I began to fade away, I could hear him murmuring in my ear.

"Just breathe, it'll be over soon. . . That's it." He crooned, brushing the hair from my face. "Shush, sweet child. Don't fight it."

I choked and struggled to concentrate, as he pressed an encouraging kiss to my forehead. And just before I floated into oblivion I heard him say lovingly, "Farewell. Be at peace, my girl. . . . Be at peace."

* * *

**A/N: Things have been rough for me lately, so I wrote this story for myself. It was quite personal, but I felt inclined to share. I'm currently grieving and Cain somehow made it a bit better. **

**~Lyn **


End file.
